Congruence is important in dating. Ever met someone who thought they were the most moral and ethical person in the world and never missed an opportunity to remind you of that?
Kind of annoying, huh? Especially when you start to examine their behavior and discover what they call “ethics and morals” conveniently explains away their bad behavior. If you want to be a man who not only attracts women, but keeps them, your words and behaviors have got to match up. Incongruity is always an attraction killer.
Incongruity is caused when there’s a gap between words and behavior, and the wider
the gap, the more the incongruity (politicians, especially those advocating higher taxes while cheating the tax man themselves, are the perfect example of this).
What you want to do is to make sure there’s a minimal gap, a gap you’re always striving to close. No one is going to be perfect 100% of the time–but those who strive to be are much more congruent than those who don’t.
Women take notice of men who do their best to make their deeds and words match. Most men don’t- in fact they do the opposite, running their mouths, talking up their own superiority and making promises they can’t possibly keep.
What happens is, women quickly notice words and behavior don’t match, and they’re disappointed yet again. But when she meets a man whose words and behavior match closely, it’s a different story–she recognizes him as rare, and is more prone to sticking around.
Now, notice I said words and behavior must match, not that you have to promise the moon, then deliver it. If most men simply dialed down their talk and proclamations, limiting it to what they really can deliver and who they really are, warts and all, they’d instantly become more attractive to women.
Sure, you should strive to make yourself into an honorable man, and you should strive to achieve things–but let your actions speak for you. Women will notice without you saying a thing, and in this case, silence speaks louder than words. Remember, women love integrity and congruence in men.
Let other, lesser men babble on while you go about your business quietly, syncing up your words and deeds while they wonder why you attract so many women and they don’t. Let your congruence be your calling card in your dating life.